My little girl is almost 14 months old and is doing some of the cutest things. Yesterday she learned how to turn the lights on and off, and you would've thought she discovered a giant toy store. She was gleefully pushing the toggle switch On, then Off, just grinning her little face. It was precious to see her figure out that pushing on it the one way turned it On - then the other made the light go Off. I could see her processing this through her little thoughts and be so pleased with herself and it was simply delightful.
Watching her grow and change is so amazing. I held her yesterday and just hugged on her - I thought to myself, How much longer am I going to have a little tiny baby girl that I can pick up and love on? Not for very long in the scheme of things. And I just clutched her to me, breathing in that moment. There was nothing special or noteworthy about it, other than that I realized just how fleeting this time is and I will never get it back. She will grow up and be interested in different things, will not tolerate being hugged on and loved on by her mother, and will only want to spend time with her frenz. So while I sometimes struggle with keeping up with her and am exhausted from chasing after her, I know this will only last but a tiny minute. My beloved Emily Dickinson painting on my wall serves as a visceral reminder - "That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet." But holding my sweet baby girl and hugging her soft, warm body, and watching as she discovers all the wonderful things in her world is a tangible reminder of this.
I am so thankful for my kids and the light and joy they bring. As tough as being a parent is sometimes, there are so many incredible things about it as well and I choose to remember those. At least in this moment. At least today.
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