Money does not make you incredible. Being incredible does.

I'm sick of white men with money who think they're hot sauce.  Or maybe I'm sick of just people in general with money who act entitled and better than others.  It is not cute and certainly does not make the world go round.

Why do people think having large amounts of money makes you indispensable or somehow better or stronger or smarter than others?  Money does not make a person interesting or amazing.  It simply means you have more money than others.  Oh good job! It means maybe you got lucky being born into a wealthy family, or made some smart financial decisions, or have a great paying job.  Wonderful.  I'm just not impressed.

I've had the opportunity to have been around lots of different people with stupid amounts of money.  Some of them you would never think it, becuz they act normal, blessedly normal, and not like some entitled a-hole.  And then there's the fun others, the ones who not only throw out in their condescending tones and body language, but also will actually verbalize - "Don't you know who I am?"  Gotta love that shiz.  That crap makes my scalp prickle.

I feel like, Don't you know who I am?!  I will go buck wild crazy on your ass!  The line from True Romance, Brad Pitt's character, always comes to mind in those situations "Don't f*&%in conden-scend me man.  I'll f*&^in kill you man."  As he continues smoking pot from his honey bear bong.  Best.Ever.

It may be I am extra sick of these freaking white men with money though.  There's always some Gil, Richard, Steve, whomever blowhard guy who is the owner/CEO/CFO of blah blah company and demands special coffees, snap and go service, impeccable towels, and all that other crap.  I am sick of these guys.  I don't have time to kowtow to these folk.  They can kind of suck it.  You know, the ones who sit around at a big conference table going over profit margins and reports and other mind numbing things.  This is the same guy who is probably either cheating on his wife with a hooker and/or getting lots of dirty nast movies in his room too.  I don't know how that works out but it's like politicians and scandals.  Goes hand in hand. Same thing.

You know who is interesting and impressive?  Someone who has fought against circumstance and overcome and come out on top.  Folks that come to mind are the doctor in Connecticut whose wife and daughters were murdered - Dr. Petit.  Overcoming that crippling grief and moving on to even simply function in life is dang impressive to me.  I'll get that guy a coffee any time.

 Or Wangari Maathai, first African American woman to win the Nobel Peace Prize, who has done amazing and life changing things for the world, or even someone like Bethany Hamilton.  Not to mention hundreds of thousands of regular people that get up every day and go out in the world to do some good, fighting against some circumstance of their own and just want to do their best in life.  These people are way more impressive than some lame old dude who happened to invest well.

When it comes down to it, we're all the same - just people in the world, who want to be happy and have good things happen to us, to laugh and love someone and be loved and be validated and contribute something of merit.  So I'm not interested in your dang bank account, I don't give a hoot if it is fat as could be or thin as a starving dog.  Treat others nicely and with kindness and you're okay in my book. Dismiss people summarily and you're a big douche with a great stock portfolio, but mostly just a big douche. Good job!

One moment

My little girl is almost 14 months old and is doing some of the cutest things.  Yesterday she learned how to turn the lights on and off, and you would've thought she discovered a giant toy store.  She was gleefully pushing the toggle switch On, then Off, just grinning her little face.  It was precious to see her figure out that pushing on it the one way turned it On - then the other made the light go Off.  I could see her processing this through her little thoughts and be so pleased with herself and it was simply delightful.

Watching her grow and change is so amazing.  I held her yesterday and just hugged on her  - I thought to myself, How much longer am I going to have a little tiny baby girl that I can pick up and love on?  Not for very long in the scheme of things.  And I just clutched her to me, breathing in that moment.  There was nothing special or noteworthy about it, other than that I realized just how fleeting this time is and I will never get it back.  She will grow up and be interested in different things, will not tolerate being hugged on and loved on by her mother, and will only want to spend time with her frenz.  So while I sometimes struggle with keeping up with her and am exhausted from chasing after her, I know this will only last but a tiny minute.  My beloved Emily Dickinson painting on my wall serves as a visceral reminder - "That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet."  But holding my sweet baby girl and hugging her soft, warm body, and watching as she discovers all the wonderful things in her world is a tangible reminder of this.

I am so thankful for my kids and the light and joy they bring.  As tough as being a parent is sometimes, there are so many incredible things about it as well and I choose to remember those.  At least in this moment. At least today.

Fulfilling childhood dreams

When I was a little girl, I desperately wanted an American Girl doll.  I would write on the little postcard to make sure I received a catalog, and just pore and pore over those.  I knew exactly which doll I would buy (Molly), and what outfits I would order for her, IF ONLY.

With 7 brothers and sisters, money was tight so an outlandishly expensive toy was not in the cards.  I pined and pined for that American Girl doll for years.  I fantasized about going to one of the actual stores (back then, there were 2 - New York and Chicago, which may as well have been in outer space) and having lunch after having lovingly selected my Molly doll and several  new outfits for her to wear. This dream got shelved for many years but I continued to get the American Girl catalogs and always would gleefully go through and dogear the pages which had items I would buy.

Finally, at age 25, I went to New York with my sisters and mom.  The most important thing on my list of things to do in this great and glorious city was - you guessed it - go to American Girl!  I budgeted for myself to buy a doll and many other things.  This was a big deal!  Only one of my sisters came with me, and of course my mother.  She felt bad that she had never been able to afford this much desired treasure for me.  I was just excited to finally have my Molly doll and be able to buy the things I had wanted for her.  It was more about the act of being able to fulfill a childhood dream than the actual item.

Next month, I will be going to the L.A store and finally  having lunch at American Girl!  I am so excited to finally be able to fulfill that particular childhood dream.  I already know how giddy I will be, not as much for the 31 year old me, but for the little 10 year old me whose longtime dream will finally be realized.  Priceless.